15 Comments
User's avatar
Kelly's avatar

👏👏👏. Such great news!!!

Nick Dean | AuDHD & OCD 🤯's avatar

Maybe healing is remembering to surrender. Must remember! That's the harder part.

Ella M.'s avatar

Indeed it is! About a year ago, I was introduced to the concept of "suffering well" in one of Angie Peacock's videos about psych med withdrawal... Really helps to think of it that way.

Christie Sausa, MS's avatar

Wishing you lots of joy and peace on your healing journey.

Donnaly's avatar

You wrote this piece just so darn perfectly it brought tears to my eyes. I CAN SEE THE GLOW IN THE SELFIE! THAT is who you truly are!

Ella M.'s avatar

🥹 thank you!!

And as for "the glow"... People have been telling me this on a semi-constant basis for a year now. I don't think it's a coincidence... I started writing about it at one point. Will see if I can finish and share!

Barbara Duda's avatar

This just makes my heart sing! You captured it perfectly- so well written. This helps MY healing … ♥️

Ella M.'s avatar

Aw!! I’m so humbled to see how this post struck a chord with folks 🥹

Katharine Keenan's avatar

Amazing! Happy for you!

Ella M.'s avatar

Thanks 💜 ...but don't worry, more videos of me singing country music and muttering to myself while driving coming up!

::loses subscribers:: 😆

Anoda's avatar

Is there a hope for healing after severe CNS injury, years of protracted withdrawal and still a long way to go tapering ssri? I don’t have a will to live this way any longer.

Ella M.'s avatar

Oof. I hear you, friend. I'm gonna say... YES, THERE ABSOLUTELY IS HOPE.

I mean, there fucking better be!! Because that's my deal, too––long history of psych meds, multiple injuries over the last few years, waiting to stabilize so I can do a slowwwwww taper off the stimulant, then when that's done, I have the slowest of slow hyperbolic tapers off the rest of the Effexor (SNRI) ahead of me. Not exactly a picnic, from what I hear 😣

It's not always rainbows and butterflies here 24/7, believe me. Windows are more complicated than I thought, and the SI still rears its ugly head here all the time. I lose hope too. A lot. But I feel like I know how to get through it now.

From everything I have read and watched and seen, even though everyone's deal is different, it all comes down to finding a way to accept the suffering, and just let our brains and bodies do the healing they know how to do. My favorite Angie Peacock quote: "EVERYONE HEALS AND I AM NOT SPECIAL." We can't listen to the awful shit our injured brains are telling us.

Do you have support in the withdrawal community––healing buddies, withdrawal coach, tapering groups, etc.? It took me about a year after connecting with the online withdrawal community to build a support network for myself that actually felt supportive and helpful, and it has made a huge difference for my healing. Also when I'm feeling all wavy, I park myself on Angie Peacock's YouTube Channel––so many great stories of HOPE for healing.

Sending you all my badass vibes for healing and perseverance. Keep going!! 💜💪

Anoda's avatar

Thank you, I am so sorry you are suffering so much too. Yes, I do participate in Angies tapering support circle meetings and have a healing buddies group but this is very lonely journey. You know when you are in a wave for such a long time, feeling like terminally ill patient for a year, hope for healing doesn’t exist anymore. I feel like I am broken to the point of no return. I am so exhausted and just want this to end.

Ella M.'s avatar

It is so lonely... I try to make meaning out of the loneliness and suffering when I can. That's why I'm sharing my story here––it's what kept me going when things got super rough for me in late summer/early fall. (And I honestly didn't intend for the stupid queer soap opera part of my life to be quite so prevalent in the plot line here, but that's kinda how it worked out... oh wellz 🤷‍♀️)

But I'm glad you're here if any of my posts give you hope or make you feel less alone 🫶

New video post is in the works btw... about healing buddies.